In their book The Resolution for Men, authors Stephen Kendrick and Alex Kendrick suggest that in order for fathers to “have their children’s hearts” and cultivate a loving, healthy relationship with them, they must commit to giving their children their attention, affirmation, and affection. This relatively simple fathering strategy, if applied, can reassure children they are loved and valued in the eyes of their fathers.

Fathers are given great responsibility in the Bible. In Ephesians 6:4, Paul gives specific instructions to fathers, especially those with children at home: “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” Fathers must carefully avoid actions or words that needlessly incite the anger of their children. Sometimes fathers must say hard, truthful things to their children (which may make them angry), but Paul’s admonition to “speak the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15) applies in these cases. As the old adage goes, “it’s not what you said but how you said it” is true and relates to Paul’s point in Ephesians 6:4. Fathers, let us speak and act in ways that are loving towards our children, even when discipline is needed.

Paul’s exhortation to “…bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” also adds to the responsibility of fathers. Fathers play an important role in the spiritual development and maturity of their children. As fathers, we must strive to model what it means to follow Jesus and pray that our children will one day follow Jesus, as well. If our children already follow Jesus, we are, biblically speaking, given the task of shepherding them and encouraging them to grow in their commitment to Him. The word “instruction” implies we are to teach our children, with our words and our lives, how to follow Jesus—a big task, by any measure.

Father’s Day is near which affords us the opportunity to honor, appreciate, or remember the man we call “father.” His influence has likely been significant and we would do well to express our gratitude for his role in our life. If the mention of “father” brings a sad or sour taste to your mouth, remember your Heavenly Father, who demonstrated His love for you by giving Jesus to rescue you from your sin. No greater gift of love can be found in the pages of history.